Salve.

Anzitutto vorrei cogliere l’occasione per ringraziare tutti coloro che hanno deciso di aprire questa raccolta e vedere se soddisfa le loro aspettative. Desidero ringraziare anche in anticipo chi deciderà di seguirla e ancora di più chi sarà così premuroso da lasciare una recensione giacché gli elogi quanto le critiche– se costruttive ed educate, costituiscono grande gioia per me.

Questa raccolta è figlia di brevi racconti e poesie che ho prodotto nel largo del tempo e che al giorno d’oggi continuo a produrre. Come avrete già letto nella descrizione questa è la storia di una Principessa proveniente dalla Luna ebbene, che non vi sorprenda il fatto che la disposizione dei capitoli risulti ambigua: vorrei affermare che ha inizio in medias res ma invero ogni capitolo non è che una singola stelle della sfera celeste che, alla fine di tutto, disegnerà una costellazione di corone, fiori e pioggia.

Senza ulteriori indugi, vi presento:

 

 

 

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Sahara –

 

 

 

Non importa quanto tempo possa passare,

non importa quante volte riesca a ingannare me stessa,

non importa quante volte finga di non sentire:

mi manchi.

E ogni tuo singolo gesto, ogni tua singola azione...

A me basta.
Basta per capire

che non è così che deve andare a finire.
Basta per capire

che non posso legarmi a te.

Non devo.

Se potessimo contare

tutti i granelli di sabbia del Sahara,

ogni cosa sarebbe possibile.

Brucia dentro di noi il fuoco della passione mentre intrecciamo le mani.

Perché devi sempre rendere le cose più difficili?
Il problema non è che io menta:

il problema è che tu mi creda.
In ogni situazione

cerco

una stupida ragione

per allontanarmi,

eppure fallisco.

Più ti voglio lontano

e più ho bisogno di te.
Più mi assento

e più mi aspetti.

Il problema non è che mi ami:

il problema è che io non sento lo stesso.
Guardami:

non sono la ragazza innocente che credi io sia.

Come puoi disfarti di me

se non mi possiedi?

Come puoi allontanarti da me

se sono così lontana?
Non so più come ferirti,

non so più come fermarti.
Il problema non sono io:

il problema sei tu.

Per favore, vattene via.
Qui si gioca a modo mio.
Ma come faccio a muovermi

se mi tieni stretta fra le tue braccia?

Guarda cosa mi fai fare,

guarda come mi rendi.
Indubbiamente tua, ho perso la ragione:

l’amore non è bello

se non siamo tu ed io.
E mentre le mie lacrime bagnano la tua maglietta,

tu continua ad accarezzarmi delicatamente i capelli

come solo tu sai fare.

Lasciami farneticare,

lascia parlare questa povera pazza.

Dimmi che non mi hai cambiata,

che non mi hai cambiata per nulla.
Eppure io lo so,

tu lo sai,

tutti lo sanno:

non può essere.
Così come ti ho sempre desiderato io, mi hai sempre desiderato tu.

Ma siamo andati avanti, ognuno ha intrapreso la propria strada.

Allora perché continuiamo a distrarci?

 

Non puoi farmi questo.
Non posso farti questo.
Ti prego, vattene.
Non ho bisogno di te,

non ho bisogno di questo sentimento,

non ho bisogno del passato.
Ti scongiuro, lasciami in pace.
Anche perché ormai

io ho già scelto il mio destino.

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Acqua passata, acqua salata –

 

 

 

Volevo soltanto dirti che

anche se la vita non ci ha mai dato l'opportunità

io sono e sarò eternamente tua.

Non potrò mai appartenere a nessun altro

nel modo in cui sono appartenuta a te.

 

E anche se non siamo mai potuti essere,

anche se le circostanze non ci hanno permesso di amarci,

tu sarai eternamente mio.

E anche se sorriderò sempre alla donna che avrai al tuo fianco,

anche se ti saluterò come se fossi solo un vecchio amico,

tu rimani sempre e solo mio.

 

Mio.

 

Perché ti abbraccerò con l'indifferenza di chi dice “È acqua passata”,

con l’affanno di chi sorride e sostiene “Non c'è mai stato niente”

quando in realtà c'è stato tutto.

 

Mio perché sulle mie braccia è tatuata l'ombra delle tue che, forti, mi stringevano in un abbraccio infinito.

Mio perché fingerò sia tutto acqua passata.

Mio perché fingerò indifferenza.

Ma tu sei solo mio.

 

Mio perché tutto ciò che è stato mio

lo sarà per sempre.

Mio perché

anche se non mi sei mai appartenuto,

tu ed io lo sappiamo

oh, noi lo sappiamo

che tu ed io

che io e te

che noi

eravamo destinati.

 

Mio perché

chissà

forse

un giorno

la vita ci riunirà.

 

Fino ad allora…

..

.

 

Of crown, flowers and rain

– Raggio di sole –

 

 

 

E scusami se nella strada del ritorno mi sono persa,

se ho confuso il tiepido pallore di un sole d'inverno con l'afoso bagliore di una ingannevole promessa d'amore giovane,

d'amore fresco e ancora spensierato.

Scusami se mi sono lasciata abbagliare da quello che credevo sarebbe stato il focolare della mia gioventù

ma non era che un flebile fuoco fatuo.

Mi ardeva l'anima, mi ardeva il cuore– ma non erano che premonizioni, sintomo del mio destino:

ardere viva nel rogo di una falsa illusione.

Nel mio folle e puerile desiderio di giocare, ho smarrito la strada

ed ho vagato senza meta

senza ragione

verso un non ritorno.

Scusami se ho confuso il luccichio di una stella morente

con il bagliore splendente di un raggio di sole.

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Morire in te –

 

 

 

Ma io è fra le sue braccia che voglio morire.

Nella interminabile e dolorosa vecchiaia desidero solo rimanere intrecciata al suo corpo affinché il suo respiro giunga nei miei polmoni e lì vi riposi, lì si impregni, lì vi resti. Nel gelo di una fredda notte invernale, voglio poter udire solo il suo battito ed in un sospiro amarlo ancora, ancora e ancora. Voglio riposare protetta fra le sue braccia che diverranno il mio scudo e il suo petto diverrà la mia santa patria.

Nell'inevitabile attimo in cui tutto ciò che avrò compiuto, avuto e amato mi verrà estirpato dall'imperscrutabile ciclo della natura, voglio poter sorridere e specchiare i miei occhi negli amorevoli occhi suoi per sussurrarci l’ultimo flebile “Ti amo” che riecheggi la confessione del nostro primo giorno– solo allora potrà la morte velarmi con la sua essenza e di me distruggere le umane spoglie.

Ma il mio cuore, la mia mente, la mia anima…

Rimarranno eterne in queste mie parole affinché i posteri sappiano che ho conosciuto l'amore, ogni sorta d'amore e pertanto parto felice verso un viaggio senza ritorno.

E anche quando il mio corpo tornerà ad essere terra, io continuerò ad amare e a lui donerò e dedicherò la mia stessa morte, giacché non c'è cosa più infinita della morte stessa.

E morendo continuerò ad amarlo poiché la morte non è che l’eterno e più segreto orgasmo della vita.

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Veni, vidi, vici –

 

 

 

Guardami perché sono ciò che hai sempre desiderato.
Guardami perché la mia anima è ancora pura, seppur intrisa di peccato.
Guardami perché c’è ancora vita in questo corpo devastato dalla sofferenza.
Guardami perché sono ancora quella luce capace di distruggere l’oscurità.
Guardami perché sono io e non puoi farne a meno.
Guardami perché non importa quanto tu possa maledirmi, resto sempre migliore di te.
Guardami.

Ho vinto io.

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Little did he know –

 

 

 

He would be haunted

until the day he died

 

He picked a flower:

the purest

the most beautiful

the wildest of all,

and mercilessly ripped it away

 

Oh,

how hard had fate been

with that innocent flower

who asked nothing more than

to be taken care of

to be loved

to be respected

 

"Easy task"

he said

"Easy done"

he said

And yet,

he broke it

he had it withering by his hands

he disrespected it

 

Little did he know,

the flower belonged in the Garden of Eden

and as he

cowardly

run away

Our Lord Almighty

picked the ever smiling flower

and kindly returned her

where it belonged

 

Little did he know,

it was the Devil's favorite flower

and as he

cowardly

run away

Lucifer's wrath paved down his path

and condemned him to a life of fears

 

He would be haunted

until the day he died

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Alas, I do not know –

 

 

 

He put me through hell

and I called it love

 

He had me eating

from the palm of his hand

swallowing hard

his lies

his deceives

his betrayals

 

I was blinded

by his kind words

by his soft touches

by his masculine voice

 

Was he the devil himself?

Was he the snake himself?

Was he the sin himself?

Alas, I do not know

all I know is

 

He put me through hell

and I called it love

 

But,

isn't forbidden love

the best kind of love?

Isn't it the purest kind of love

when an Angel

falls in love

with a monster?

Alas, I do not know

all I know is

 

He

Put

Me

Through

Hell

And

I

Called

It

Love

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Oath –

 

 

 

"Can I truly, from the depths of my heart...

Betray this girl?"

 

He took an oath: an oath of protection, an oath of devotion, an oath of love. An oath from which he could never be released: only death would break it apart.

And yet, there he was: breaking that oath for the lust of a moment, for the mere joy of the sin, for listening to the needs of his flesh. Such an unforgivable treason— High Treason, could never be forgiven not even by the Almighty Himself for God was nothing more than a witness.

There was only one who could unleash him from his oath: the Princess he took his oath to.

"Your Highness, he has escaped. He fled during the commotion and left with the armor... As well with the sword and the shield" She merely nodded as the servant left.

How coward of him to leave with a weaponry that didn't belong to him anymore: those were all gifts that were given to him in order to honor his vow. Of what use were to him now?, she asked herself staring in the distance from her tower. "Could you really be so despicable to take an oath to another with that same armament? Could you?" Already knowing the answer she sat down at the edge of her bed, her hands one on top of the other.

There were no tears left to cry.

There were no screams to be heard.

All the sorrow, she had shushed it away the moment she heard of him escaping.

He took an oath: an oath of protection, of devotion, of love.

No one asked him to and certainly, she did not ask him to do so. He wanted to. He demanded it. So, what was all this fuss about? She sighed. “This is not kindergarten, then why does he keep acting like a child?”

He took an oath: an oath of protection, of devotion, and love.

She looked at the mirror, a calm expression on her face. Her crown was where it was supposed to be: fixed on her head. So she walked down the corridors until she reached the main hall where Their Highness were attending some minor matters. She bowed and fixed her eyes on them.

"What is it, my darling girl?" her mother asked, unsure of what her only daughter required.

"My Queen" she replied, her tone kind yet detached, making it clear she was doing a formal visit. Both the King and the Queen took a serious expression and acknowledged the Princess "My King. My Queen. I have come here to pose you a formal request. As Their Highnesses are well aware, I was recently betrayed by who I thought was my most trusted Knight, my personal Knight, the one who was to be my betrothed." she kept going, still and untouched "He has committed the act of High Treason not only against me as a woman and a Crowned Princess but, to this country as well and therefore, to Our King and Our Queen altogether. Such an act shall not be forgiven, nor forgotten." Replaying all that she had gone through on those recent days was not easy, however, the royal protocol demanded a full report and she would stick to it. "In the light of these events I, the Crowned Princess of Perulia, am here to request Their Majesties' permission to release the traitor from his oath."

"Why are you asking for permission? You are probably well aware that you can do it on your own." Asked her father.

"For respect.” she stated “For the devotion and love I feel for my country and the institute that the Crown represents. To make up, even just very little, for the betrayal, the mockery, and the shame that the traitor has brought upon us. Upon me."

"Very well. Then we shall proceed as soon as we retrieve something of his."

"My King, I happen to still have the ring he gave me on the day of his proposal. That should be enough for the function. However, there is also another request I would like to make to Your Majesties" she paused " I would like him to be forever banished from our lands."

"Are you sure?" the Queen asked letting her motherly emotions take the better of her. Meeting the serious eyes of her daughter though, she quickly composed herself. "Very well. If the King coincides with me, then I have no objection regarding his banishment. He went for it, after all." The Sovereign nodded, sharing his lady's opinion. "Should we start?" A servant came before the Princess with a black cushion on which she laid the ring.

"I, Crowned Princess of Perulia, hereby release" she started and pronounced his name "from the oath he took to me in the eyes of God. He shall not protect me anymore. He shall not be devoted to me anymore. He shall not marry me anymore. I remove his titles and privileges and declare him an enemy of the Royal Family as well as an enemy of our Great Nation, Perulia. Under the eyes of God All Mighty, I break his oath. May God have mercy on his treacherous soul."

That same night looking at the pale moonlight she gave her no longer knight one last thought:

There is no possibility of me forgiving you. But how on earth can you forgive yourself?

 

"Can I truly, from the depths of my heart...

Betray this girl?"

 

Sometime later rumors were heard about the whereabouts of the treasonous knight: the young man had apparently taken an oath to a lower class woman. Such course of events was to be expected, after all, no noblewoman ever would take the oath of a knight who had been withdrawn of such honor: people like him did not get to insult people like the Princess, they get to be eternally grateful. In fact, the notion didn't bother HRH the Princess at all, what annoyed her whatsoever was knowing that he had the nerve to say it was him to break the oath.

And yet, she thought, let him live his lie. Let him believe he did it all by himself: when the time comes, the burden will be unbearable.

She did not wish him bad: she wished him what he deserved.

 

"Can I truly, from the depths of my heart...

Betray this girl?"

 

Yes, she said.

But the question is: can you truly, from the depths of your heart...

Live up to that weight?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*-*-*-*

 

 

 

NdA. Questo scritto è stato ispirato da due testi diversi: la domanda “Can I truly, from the depths of my heart... Betray this girl?” è presa da un capitolo del manga Masamune-kun no Revenge, mentre le frasi “There is no possibility of me forgiving you. But how on earth can you forgive yourself?” e “people like him did not get to insult people like the Princess, they get to be eternally grateful” sono delle citazioni liberamente adattate della serie TV The Crown (Netflix).

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Reign –

 

 

 

I've made that mistake before. I've carelessly removed my Crown from its rightful place because men tend to be intimidated by it: whenever they see an alpha, strong female they get scared and do their best to eclipse you. To destroy you. But then again, can we say that those are real men? For I think a real man wouldn't feel uncomfortable to kneel to his own Princess and take the most solemn of the oaths: the oath of eternal love— eternal because oaths are meant to last a lifetime, is not something you can resign from whenever you feel like it. But I was naive.

I won't make that mistake again. I've removed my Crown many times because of love. I was a fool but indeed, all those hard times served me right to forge the woman I am today.

I used to think that love came first. I used to think that love could solve anything. I used to think that love was enough when the road got hard. I used to think love was always the right choice. How foolish of me. But no more, for now, I am ready to take the most solemn vow a woman can take: an oath to myself. No more I will choose between love and the Crown for the Crown must win. Must always win. And God forbid if I am mistaken. I am the Princess and as such, I must carry my own burdens. My Crown will stay where it belongs, in its rightful place: on my head. And it will stay there until I give my last breath for the only reason I will willingly remove it again would be for a circumstance concerning my dear mother or those that someday will be my beloved children.

Playtime is over. No more regrets. No more daydreaming. It's time for me to take up the mantle of change for this is my time and I am finally willing to take what I deserve.

The world is mine. And I will take it.

This is the end of a story of love and duty. With duty prevailing.

Long may I reign.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*-*-*-*

 

 

 

NdA. Questo scritto è stato ispirato da due testi diversi: “I used to think that love was enough when the road got hard” è una citazione libera della canzone Born to die di Lana del Rey mentre le frasi dell’ultimo paragrafo sono diverse citazioni liberamente adattate della serie TV The Crown (Netflix).

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Bang! –

 

 

 

Ho ucciso le mie emozioni,

ho nascosto i miei sentimenti

Mi mancherai

 

Nella gelida notte dell'addio

il mio cuore

suonò

una ballata d'amore

 

Melensa

Angosciante

Stridente

Piangente

 

Ho ucciso le mie emozioni,

ho nascosti i miei sentimenti

Mi mancherai

 

Nelle afose giornate senza te

la mia mente canta libera

 

L'indipendenza

La forza

Il successo

La felicità

 

Ho ucciso le mie emozioni,

ho nascosto i miei sentimenti

Mi mancherai

 

Fino a che un giorno

lontano

forse

mi ritroverai

 

E donna,

fiera

seducente

e vincente

ti dirò

 

Ho ucciso le mie emozioni,

ho nascosto i miei sentimenti

Non mi manchi più

 

Ho

ucciso

l'amore

 

Ho

nascosto

te

 

Ho

ucciso

te

 

Bang!

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Cross my heart, hope to die –

 

 

 

I loved you hard

like a poet loves his rhymes

like an artist loves his muses

like a devil loves his crimes

 

And yet,

you took it all away

you smashed it all today

crossed my heart

and let me here to die

 

As your nudity

crushed into another

I was at a loss

that the one I loved so hard

could also harm so rough

 

I loved you hard

But,

I love

Myself

The hardest

 

Goodbye

NdA. Questo scritto è stato ispirato dalla canzone I’m sorry, I’m lost degli Epigram che consiglio di ascoltare durante la lettura. Non vi è testo, è pura melodia ergo, non vi distrarrà. Buona lettura. (:

 

 

 

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– I’m sorry, I’m lost –

 

 

 

He was lost

 

She had been the source of light

of happiness

of love

and now his ever so colorful life

was dark and dull

 

He was lost

 

Lost were the dreams

Lost were the hopes

Lost were the motivations

 

What was he supposed to do

without her?

Who was he

without her?

 

He was sorry

He was lost

 

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Nightmares –

 

 

 

He spent his days by her side, doing his best to mask the unhappiness that clouded his eyes. The girl didn't know him that well so it's not like she would notice anyway.

He spent his days doing his best to make sure she was satisfied, at least she wouldn't argue later when it came to satisfy his physical needs.

He spent his days trying to turn her into the one he had in his heart. It was useless: he should have known better that a commoner could never become a Princess for you don't get to be turned into a Princess. You are born a Princess. Try as he might, even when he tried to influence her choice of clothing, the way she spoke, the way she walked and sat, her tastes and even her heroines, it was never the same.

He spent his days pleading for the forgiveness he would never have, begging God to give him the chance to go back in time and undo his faults.

But most of all, he spent his nights thinking, dreaming, longing and lusting for her. Mourning for the love he will never have.

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Where are you now? –

 

 

 

Pity is all I feel

 

When I see you

pretending like you are having fun

When I see you

hitting on another girl

When I see you

trying to pull my attention

 

Where is

your pride now?

Where is

your masculinity now?

Where is

your chivalry now?

 

I see you

and laughter wins over me

for you had the best

but lost it in a heartbeat

and now you have to settle

only for the worst

 

Pity is all I feel

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Peacefully –

 

 

 

She felt his eyes on her

 

At night she would wake up

feeling observed

seen through

and she knew

oh, she knew

it was him

 

He would stare longing

at the empty portion of his unmade bed

missing

the voice of her

the touch of her

the eyes of her

the taste of her

the scent of her

 

The peace,

he had lost it with her

The dreams,

he had lost them with her

The happiness,

he had lost it with her

 

She felt his eyes on her

and sometimes, she would look back

she would fix her deep

black eyes on him

and would ask:

"Was it worth it?"

 

And he would turn around

unable to answer

unable to pretend

unable to accept

the truth

but nevertheless,

it would hit him

it would break him

again and again

 

And even when her side

was occupied by another

his last thought would go to her

wishing it was her instead

crying silently

for all the things they had lost

and all the what ifs remained unanswered

 

She felt his eyes on her

But,

She kept dreaming

 

Peacefully

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– The Crown –

 

 

 

I won't bend

I won't bow

I won't be broken

 

For I am Queen

born with the burden of a solid crown

to wear

to devote myself to

to obey to

 

I won't bend

I won't bow

I won't be broken

 

For bad or good

this duty falls upon me

and as I make a pledge to God

to my country

and to my people

I take this oath to myself as well

for I the girl I was

is now lost in the past

of me

 

I won't bend

I won't bow

I won't be broken

 

The crown fits me

The crown guides me

The crown shows me

 

The

Crown

Is

Me

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Like moths to the flame –

 

 

 

Like a clock

Like an hourglass

Like a bomb

 

The heart wants what it wants

 

It screams

echoes

and longs

your name

in my sleep

in my dreams

in my nightmares

 

It asks

and demands

for you

 

Like a moth to the flame

it sinks

in an ocean of sorrow

when you say my name

 

The heart wants what it wants

 

It bleeds

for the love

it will never have

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Blindfold –

 

 

 

Whenever you are not looking

he drops his gaze on you

 

In less than a minute

he looks at you

so many times

I can not count

 

Believe me, my friend,

those eyes that you love so much

are the very same eyes that cannot stop

looking at you

protecting you

studying you

adoring you

consuming you

 

And while you are here

wondering why

he doesn't make any move

let me tell you that

his feelings are crystal clear

each time he comes around you

behind you

or beside you

to show the world

that you are not alone

that you are protected

silently yet, clearly stating

«Back off

The girl is mine»

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Inquiry –

 

 

 

I didn't choose her.

She came to me and I let her in because you told me “You two look cute together!” and I took it as a sign that everything that had transpired between the two of us— our hugs, our shy glances, your hands intertwined in mine, hadn't meant anything.

Did you know how much I was hurting? I felt like all those things meant nothing. I remember asking myself if I had misjudged you: maybe it was all a game since the very beginning. And yet, I was unconvinced. I just knew you were not that type of girl. You were the best girl I could ever have. And yet... You wanted me to let her in.

So I did, I let her in. But I wanted you.

I wanted you from the moment you entered that room on that fall night we met. I wanted you the moment you smiled and introduced yourself. I wanted you even when I had her— do you remember how my eyes were glued on you even when she was sitting on my lap? Do you remember how I purposely sat beside you? It really hurt me when you changed your place only to stay away from me. Do you remember how I called out for you while she was beside me? That cost me a fight, you know? And I still wanted you when you and that guy were a thing. Do you remember the first time I met him? God, I could tell he was such an ass and yet, he had what I desired the most. Do you remember your birthday party? I tried my best to steal your attention and that I purposely did again one month later at your best friend's. Your smile, your laughs... It was all I could get from you. But it was enough.

So much has happened since then... But I still want you.

The question is... Do you want me? Us? Tell me this is what you want. Tell me this is real.

Tell me, and let love make us instead of us making love.

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Swollen, bruised, bitten –

 

 

 

"Do you remember that night at your best friend's when I winked at you?"

"Oh my God yes, I do! I was terrified! I mean, what would have happened if he had noticed?" he chuckled running his fingers through her dark chocolate tresses. "What's so funny? I was truly afraid that he would start a fight had he noticed."

"It would have been worth it." he said "But still, he was not the type to. He even failed to notice me winking at you which means his attention was elsewhere."

"I wouldn't say so" she said as he cuddled her "Later that night he told me that I laughed way too much at your jokes but I told him he was wrong. I mean, what can I do if you're the funniest of the group?"

"Is that a compliment or...?"

"Definitely a compliment" she answered kissing him lightly. God, her lips. Soft, tasty and poisonous lips.

"You know, I spent that night envying him. You were so kind, so attentive, so dedicated to him. I never knew such love could exist. Even when he was throwing a tantrum you stood by his side and took his part... That was unexpected. I was already into you by then but seeing you like that made me want you even more. That's why I tried my best to get your attention."

"I knew it!" she exclaimed while facing him "I knew it! Those few times we were together I always felt like you were doing your best to eclipse him. Even at my birthday party..."

"Could you blame me? He had the most wonderful treasure in his hands but his mind was set on me. I felt it, you know: he was challenging me. But even in his challenge, I felt his intimidation. It was even more palpable when I went to the kitchen to compliment your mom and he came as well to see what business did I have with your mother."

"He felt inferior." she assured, gripping his hands "He spent the nights studying you. He knew you and I had unfinished business. When he came back to me he knew he was running out of time for you and I were near to become a thing had I not faltered, which I did because he came back to my life."

"Timing."

"Yes, it was all about the right timing. He came back into the picture long before your ex came into your life, you know? That's why I was acting strange all that time and why I pretended to be happy about the two of you, so that you could move on."

"But in the end he had you, right? So why was he so obsessed with me? If I had been him..."

"Do you remember the first night you met him? That same night he told me that he saw you kept looking at me."

"I have never been able to keep my eyes away from you."

"You're missing the point." she said playfully "What I mean is that he felt intimidated. He knows I am faithful and committed when it comes to relationships but he was afraid that you could do something to make me change my mind and that I would have left him in a snap of fingers."

"Cannot blame him for being afraid to lose you, though."

"What about we stop talking about trivialities that do not matter anymore?"

"Trivialities?" he asked chuckling and caressing her cheeks

"Yes, trivialities." she assured "The only thing that matters to me right now is that you're here with me. You, mine and me, yours. Let's focus our attention on doing something better!"

"I have an idea" he proposed while tucking her over the black leather couch "What's that quote that you love so much…?" her giggles filled the room "Ah, yes. Let's kiss until our lips are bruised with love." Lips raw with love she mentally corrected him but choose to stay silent and let him bite and swollen her lips as love started to make them.

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Lost Alpha –

 

 

 

He kept looking at her pictures, those pictures that she had willingly shared with him when everything was still bright and colorful when life was a fairytale. He looked at them and suddenly realized how much he missed her. God knew just how much he missed her: he missed the look in those bright eyes of her, those black eyes that shimmered in adoration only when she was looking at him. He missed the touch of her, the way her hands softly caressed him and made him feel loved in a way he knew no one would ever love. He missed the look of her laid on the unmade bed, her long dark tresses spread around her frame making her look so innocent and yet savage— a black Virgin Mary. He missed being over her and taking in the blush of her cheeks as well as the pleasing vision of her voluptuous bosom moving up on down as a result of her heavy breathing. He missed her pouty lips that were both poisonous and a blessing, the taste of her forever engraved in his mouth. He missed the way her hot skin felt against him and how sensitive she was when he stroked her thighs. And oh, how ravishing she looked with that expression painted on her beautiful face: she would never understand how arousing it was for him to see her so vulnerable, how it took every piece of strength in his body not to take her there and then; she couldn't understand how hard he tried to not let that angelical face of hers take better of him, how difficult it was for him to keep cool as she squeezed her eyes shut and her face grimaced with intoxicating expressions unbestknown to her but that he took great pride in knowing were reserved for him and him only. And God, how he missed hearing the soft moans she would make when he forced his lips upon her skin, kissing and biting the sensitives spots of her neck and God, if he missed hearing the sound of her voice whimpering his name, asking— pleading him to stop. Only then he would stop, satisfaction clear in his eyes for he had settled his domination.

God, how he missed her. He missed her on those festive nights more than ever and God, how it hurt to know that her adoring gaze, her soft hands, her pouty lips, her hot skin, her intoxicating expressions, her arousing voice and sensual pleads now belonged to someone else.

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Lie to me –

 

 

 

He held her

He kissed her

He touched her

 

But at the end of the day

His mind was always elsewhere

In that very same place his mind drifted to

At night

Before falling asleep

To his one and only Princess

His mind was right there

 

Right where his heart was

Right where his heart belonged

 

He held her

He kissed her

He touched her

 

He lied to her

 

And she endured it for

 

The heart wants what it wants

or else, it does not care

 

 

 

 

 

 

*-*-*-*

 

 

 

NdA. Il titolo “Lie to me” è la canzone di Cole Plante, Myon & Shane 54 che ha ispirato questa canzone mentre la frase finale in corsivo è di una poesia di Emily Dickinson.

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Maybe –

 

 

 

I express

a subconscious interest

to the brown color

 

It may be because

it matches your big

deep

shining eyes

 

Or it may be because

it matches your wild

silky, long hair

 

I express

a subconscious interest

to the brown color

 

And it may also be because

I

love

you

 

I express

a subconscious interest

to the brown color

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Intruder –

 

 

 

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

 

I can never forget

the strong scent of your perfume

filling my lungs

deep and forcefully

leaving no room to escape

 

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

 

Your tailored black suit

stained in red

"Is it wine?" I thought

"Is it blood?" I questioned

 

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

 

Your sharp eyes

digged deep into me

like a predator eyes his prey

 

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

 

And yet, I stood there

unmoving

unaffected

unimpressed

shaken only by the damnation

I was leading myself to

 

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

I knew there would be hell to pay

I knew this was not going to end well

 

But, I am an Angel

you are a Demon

and the Sin, it makes three

 

You knew I was trouble

when you walked in

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Raw –

 

 

 

He kissed me short and rough

 

I was not ready

to cope with the force of his beast

and yet, I submitted

ever so obediently

I even forgot who I was

 

He kissed me short and rough

 

But, it felt so good

his teeth grinding against mine

blood on my tongue

and our lips raw with love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*-*-*-*

 

 

 

NdA. Questo scritto è stato ispirato dalla frase “Our lips raw with love” dal poem Raw With Love di Charles Bukowski.

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Q&A – 

 

 

 

Her legs.

Tanned, silky, and inviting.

He was overly obsessed with her legs. He loved kissing them, licking them, biting them. There was something about the scent and the delicious flavor of her thick yet toned thighs that intoxicated him to the point of having him worshipping them. And when she wore those shorts of her... He just couldn't help but being jealous of the cloth that wrapped her thighs.

His real fetish though was seeing her wearing black tights— that just drove him crazy. He couldn't help the reaction it stung on him each time she decided to tease him by wearing the forbidden combo: skin-tight shorts and black tights. Sometimes she would even add a V line shirt in order to have him losing control.

She was such a tease.

It was 9 AM in the morning and yet, she was looking like a dessert.

"You evil little vixen" he murmured while groping her thigh "I'll have you screaming my name and begging for me tonight." she just smiled and gave him a chaste kiss: she would probably be sore to death the day after but it would be worth seeing him on pins and needles all day long.

He was a possessive man. And while he couldn't help but being all hot and bothered over her, he knew she would be stealing every other man's stare. At first, it made him angry. Who gave them the permission to look at her? To desire her? To fantasize about her? He was not good at sharing. But then again, he enjoyed it when those same men looked at him, their eyes green with envy.

The girl was his. And the claim was strong as it should be.

"Who do you belong to, baby girl?" he asked her while devouring her tempting thighs. She purred, her back arching and he knew that meant it was her body's silently plea for him to go on. He was glad her body got to him untouched: he was the only one who knew how her body, mind, and soul responded when it came to intimacy. Hearing her moans he bit her inner thighs and she stirred, her eyes shut from the sparkles he ignited. She had teased him all day so it was just right for him to return the favor now "I'm sorry my little kitten, I couldn't hear you over the sound of your meowing. Now, answer me my little bunny: who do you belong to?"

She knew he was playing with her.

She also knew he would tease her to death and wouldn't give in until he had what he wanted.

In her daily life, she was a strong, dominant woman. There was no way in hell she would ever submit to a man. She was proud, she was fierce. But when the night took over and she was behind the black curtains of their room... She was the most submissive girl on earth.

And she liked it.

She liked how he toyed with her, how he teased her, how he killed her under the sheets.

She could not have asked for anything more.

"Please..." she would plead, unable to look at him.

He liked that embarrassed side of her. He liked how she would still cover her face, how during the first moments of their intimacy she couldn't bear to look at him. It made him feel powerful, it made him feel the strongest. Only when taken aback by the pleasurable feelings he ignited she would get loose and the untamable tiger that was inside of her would come up, ready to fight him, bite him, eat him.

She was Heaven and Hell combined.

She was the sweetest good girl and yet, she was the naughtiest girl. Not even in his wildest dreams he could have painted her that way.

She was perfection. Utter perfection.

"I beg you..." she moaned

"Say it, my little Princess" he replied while kissing her near her core "Say it and I promise you will never walk again" he inhaled her poisonous scent.

He did not want her wet. He wanted her dripping.

"I'll drink you up tonight. And I'll make sure not to leave a single drop for it would be a terrible waste. You taste like cinnamon and sin. I wish I could bottle up your scent. I would drink from it every day and make sure my glass is never empty..."

"I'm yours!" she screamed, unable to restrain herself anymore, her body shaking with lust "I'm yours and yours only! It is you I want..." she sobbed, silently begging him to eat her, her lips bruised by her own teeth.

He smirked. Utter perfection, indeed.

"Good girl."

She would always be teasing him.

But he would always be killing her under the sheets, and that was worth the tease.

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Resa –

 

 

 

"Dì che sei mia"

 

Ma come potrei dire altrimenti 

se ti appartengo come non sono mai appartenuta a nessuno?

 

Come potrei negare

che sono tua senza precedenti 

senza condizioni

senza obiezioni 

 

Come potrei mentire 

se mi guardi con quei grandi occhi scuri

e mi divori l'anima,

la vita

e la mia essenza stessa 

 

Come potrei ritrattare

la mia resa incondizionata?

 

Come potrei?

Non potrei

 

Eternamente,

M.

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– For a masochist, I am pretty sadistic –

 

 

 

"Are you frightened my little bunny?"

 

He asks,

caressing me

undressing me

tasting me

 

"I'm jealous of your fucking clothes for touching you before me"

 

He hisses,

tossing them

ripping them

forgetting them

 

"Don't look at me with those eyes.

The more scared and helpless you look, the more I want to break you"

 

He grunts

biting me

sucking me

marking me

 

"Scream my name" he orders

"Beg for me" he demands

"Tell me you will die if I don't get inside of you"

he pants "For I will certainly die if I don't"

 

I am afraid

I am helpless

I am torn

 

But,

I am on fire

I am mesmerized

 

I am in love

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– As ever –

 

 

 

I'm not even into beards!

 

And yet,

Here you have me

 

As in love as ever

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Eclipse of Love –

 

 

 

You

Kissed me

And

 

I

 

–Blackout.

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Greedy –

 

 

 

I yearn for

the touch of you

 

Your slender fingers

on my skin

tracing ever so slowly

every curve

every nerve

every soft spot

 

I yearn for

the feel of you

 

Your skin against mine

warming

rubbing

pleasing

 

I yearn for

all of you

for me

on me

in me

 

I yearn for

The love

Of you

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– Footsteps –

 

 

 

I love the sound of your footsteps

 

Steady and measured,

strong yet classy

 

I love the sound of your footsteps

 

When you walk in smoothly

I know that it is me

you're coming for

 

When you come in in a rush

I know that it is your business

you are concerned about

 

But, above all

I love the sound of your footsteps

when you walk away

 

For letting you go

is the bravest

and greatest

show of love

I can give

 

I love the sound of your footsteps

Of crowns, flowers and rain

– R.I.P. Me –

 

 

 

"He wants to crush her,

to kiss her until her lips are bruised and swollen

and all she can think is his name."

 

Bruise me

Crush me

Bleed me

 

Mark my skin

Mark my body

Mark my soul

 

For my heart was doomed

On my very birth

By the love

And the curse

Of you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*-*-*-*

 

 

 

NdA. L’incipit è una frase di una citazione trovata su Pinterest (ne disconosco l’autore).