enter Sandman.

[ Exit lights

enter night

take my hand

we’re off to never never land. ]

~

Ci fu per primo il bianco del soffitto ad accoglierla al suo risveglio, poi le fratture nere sotto la vernice (come le vene bluastre che correvano sotto le loro pelli in frammenti), infine la voce del suo capitano che la riportava indietro con il suo tono come fatto di artigli.  Dov’era andata?

La sua voce da bambino, in quel corpo da bambino – gli artigli – la gentilezza del mattino, quando il sogno era diventato più invivibile della realtà.

Dov’era stata?

Dov’era stata?

<< Dormito bene, Matsumoto? >>

Dov’era stata?

Dov’era stata?

[ Take my hand
We're off to never-never land ]

Ed era stato un sogno di buio e di freddo: un serpente le era sceso per la gola e aveva deposto nel suo ventre le uova candide di un mondo nuovo, di una storia già sentita ( già vissuta). La sua pelle, le sue labbra, il suo respiro erano come il suo odore:  freddi. Ed è il freddo che ricorda, un sangue freddo come le lacrime dell’aria invernale, uno scivolo del cielo diretto nelle sue profondità. Dov’era stato? Dove stava andando?

E soprattutto, soprattutto – perché non

[ Dreams of war, dreams of liars
Dreams of dragon's fire
And of things that will bite ]

Conoscerlo, era stato come venire di nuovo alla vita: si era aggrappata al pensiero di lui, e contro il petto di quello stesso pensiero aveva pianto forte, e insieme alle urla c’era stato il respiro, il respiro della vita. La conta dei giorni era iniziata dalle fessure dei suoi occhi: Matsumoto invidiava quei mondi proibiti che giacevano sotto le sue palpebre. Li avrebbe bevuti, se avesse potuto. Per sentire in lei quel freddo osceno, come una lingua di ghiaccio e veleno, congelarle l’anima.

 [ Tuck you in, warm within
Keep you free from sin
Till the Sandman he comes  ]

e soprattutto perché  (perchèperchèperchè) non l’aveva portata con lui?

<< Dormito bene, Matsumoto? >>

<< … Capitano? >>

[  Now I lay me down to sleep
Pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I die before I wake
Pray the Lord my soul to take  ]

Exit light, enter darkness.

Fine.

N.B.

enter Sandman.

[ Exit lights

enter night

take my hand

we’re off to never never land. ]

~

The first to give her a warm welcome was the white of the ceiling, when she woke up, then there were the black fractures under the paint (just like the bluish veins running under their skins), and in the end, there was her captain’s voice to carry her back, with his clawed tune. Where had she gone?

His childish voice in that childish body – claws – morning kindness, when night dreams were being more unbearable than reality.

Where  had  she been?

Where had she been?

«Did you sleep well, Matsumoto?»

Where had she been?

Where had she been?

[ Take my hand
We're off to never-never land ]

And it had been a dream of night and cold: a snake had gone down through her throat and had laid eggs of a new world, of an already heard (already lived) old tale . His skin, his lips, his breath were just like his smell: cold. And cold she remembers, a cold blood like tears of winter air, a slide of the sky to her depths.  Where had he been? Where was he going?

And above all, above all – why  he didn’t

[ Dreams of war, dreams of liars
Dreams of dragon's fire
And of things that will bite ]

Knowing him, was like coming back to life she had clung to the thought of him, and against this  same thought’s chest she had cried loudly, and with her shouts there had been a breath, the breath of life. The counting of the days was started by the chinks of his eyes: Matsumoto was envious of those forbidden worlds that laid down under his eyelids. She would have liked to drink them, if she could, to feel again that obscene coldness freeze her soul, like an ice tongue.

 [ Tuck you in, warm within
Keep you free from sin
Till the Sandman he comes  ]

and above all why – whywhywhy – didn’t he take her with him?

«Did you sleep well, Matsumoto?»

«…Captain?»

[  Now I lay me down to sleep
Pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I die before I wake
Pray the Lord my soul to take  ]

Exit light, enter darkness.

End.