Zulema was relaxing outside, or at least so she tried. The headache was not giving her a minute of peace today, not even the pills where helping much anymore. She was wondering how long she could continue like this without making her partner in crime know what's going on with her. Taking a deep breath she swung a leg on the armchair of the white chair she was sitting on while taking the pack of cigarettes that was on the little table next to her. She lit the cigarette on, taking a drag of it before looking the slight gray smoke that was coming out from her mouth. The raven headed girl faced the sky while her dark eyes, contoured by black makeup, looked how the smoke slowly wanishd away in the air. It was a beautiful spring day. The sun was shining and only a few clouds where dancing in the blue sky. Closing her eyes she remained like this, taking from time to time a drag of the cigarette and trying to not pay attention to the continuous banging in her head. She just wanted to forget for a moment that she was gonna die in a few months but the frequent headaches, the nausea, together with the allucinations she had, where making it very hard to make her pretend everything was ok. Even more in front of Macarena. Speaking from the devil... Zulema heard the door of the caravan opening and then closing again, followed by a pair of footsteps coming to her direction. She opened one eye, and followed the movements of the blond girl that decided to sit on the other side of the table, just a meter away from her. On her hands a bottle of beer. Zulema closed again her eyes, facing the sky once more and taking a last drag of her cigarette. "You shouldn't drink." She said with plain voice, facing Macarena and pressing what remained of the cigarette against the ashtray that was resting on the table. The younger girl scoffed slightly, shaking her head and taking a sip of the drink in her hands, looking straight whit her green eyes into the dark ones of the other. "Is it the guilt for killing my first child that makes you so protective towards this one?" Macarena then said and bitterness could be heard in her voice. She almost regret saying those words when she noticed the older's brows twitch imperceptibly and her eyes shift a moment to look down before coming back to look at Maca's one. It's a gesture that someone not close to Zulema wouldn't even notice but Macarena could read her like an open book. After two years living together in a caravan big enough for one person only, and staying everyday with her almost 24/7, she knew what that expression meant: Zulema was hurt and maybe she was right, a hint of guilt was to be seen in those dark, almost black eyes. Macarena was almost apologizing for her bitter comment but then she remembered why she treated Zulema like that. She was mad. Really mad. And the only reason she was now sitting next to the other and not avoiding her anymore was because she needed a fucking answer. She placed the beer on the table. "Anyway I didn't come here to talk about the baby." Macarena said, before Zulema could counter back at the remark she did a few seconds before. "What the hell was on your mind yesterday?" She continued, bringing her hands a second in the air to emphasize her disbelief. "I knew this was coming." Zulema let out an annoyed growl, snorting right after. But inside of her she knew the blonde was right in demanding some answers. Yesterday's heist went to shit... and it was all her fault. It should have been simple as stealing some candies at some child. It should have. [FLASHBACK] "PUT THE FUCKING MONEY IN THE BAG." Zulema raised her voice to the worker behind the desk, repeating for the second time the same sentence and pressing her gun a second on his head. The young man, feeling the contact of the cold metal against his forehead, seemed to come out from the first moment of shock and with trembling hands did what the woman asked. He opened the cash desk and started to put all the money into the bag that Zulema slammed on the counter a minute ago. "Good." A smirk formed on her face while she turned a second to look at her partner. Macarena made the four clients that where in the little bank of the city kneel down and put their hands behind their heads. Zulema was bringing her gaze back to the worker but something caught her attention. One of the client that was on his knees was looking at her with an evil grin on his face. She knew this man. She knew him too well. She could never forget that disgusting face. ...Sandoval. But wasn't he dead? She could feel rage creeping inside of her while the grip on her gun tightened. "You fucking asshole." She said in a whisper, walking with fast speed towards him. The blonde didn't even have the time to react when Zulema cicked him right in his face with her black combat boots. Sandoval fell backwards on the floor, trying to shield himself with an arm in front of his face. But it was useless. Zulema was on him and continued to bunch him wherever she could with her free hand. "You fucking bastard." She said with gritten teeths while now Macarena was trying to pull her away. "FUCK ZULEMA STOP IT!" The blonde screamed while the loud alarm of the bank started to be heard. The bank worker took the distraction of the two thieves to press the alarm button positioned under the counter. "WE HAVE TO GO!" Macarena said even more aloud, still trying to stop the fury of the oldest. But then Zulema stopped all of a sudden, her fist full of blood still in the air. Fuck. She thought blinking her eyes to make sure she was seeing right. In front of her wasn't that hatefull man of Sandoval anymore. It was a young man, on his thirty, unconscious on the floor. Fuck. She thought again before coming completely back to her sense. "ZULEMA!" She heard Macarena's voice from behind and in a second she was on her feet again, taking the blonde by the hand and running out of the place, not even bothering to take the money on the counter. There was no time. FUCKING HALLUCINATIONS. FUCKING CANCER. She thought, running as fast as possible while the sound of sirens could be heard in the distance. [END OF FLASHBACK] "I thought he had a phone in his hand and was calling the police." Zulema explained, trying to sound convincing but at the same time annoyed by the question of the other. "Bullshit! He had his hands behind his head Zulema." Macarena stated, feeling the rage boiling in her again. She couldn't believe that the woman in front of her was inventing such a stupid excuse. Does she think she is stupid or what? And even if this was the truth, her action was way to exaggerate. "Well then" Zulema shrugged, swinging the leg that was resting on the armchair back on the ground "I don't know what to tell you, really." She then stood up, not even bothering to look back at the blonde. "I'm gonna take a shower." The raven haired girl informed her roommate. Hiding her hands in the pocket of her black hoodie she then walked inside. "Yeah, run away as you always do." Macarena mumbled when she remained alone. ______ At the end their fights always endet like this. In the bed. Naked. It was always like this between the two: or they where fighting or they where in bed, not resisting the attraction they felt for eachother. And in between, in rare occasions, there where moments were the two just enjoyed the company of the other, talking for hours (mostly Macarena) about their lives before the prison, knowing eachother better, or simply in silence reading a book or drinking something, knowing they were not alone in the room. In those moments Zulema could almost think of living forever with Macarena. Maybe buying a home for the two... or better the three. A little smile appeared on the oldest's lips while her eyes where looking at the blonde that was soundly sleeping next to her on the left side. Her curled hair falling freely on the cushion. It was still early in the morning and orange light was slowly entering from the windows of the caravan. The birds just started to chirp outside giving the world a good morning. Zulema brought her hand up towards the face of the youngest. She wanted to outline her features with a finger but stopped midway. Get yourself together. She thought. This is not right. She continued to think to herself. It's from that damn night of new years eve that something inside of her shifted regarding Macarena. She couldn't really put a grip on it at the beginning but slowly, every time they kissed and touched eachother, every time Macarena smiled genuinely at her or showed concern for her, this feeling was getting stronger and stronger. And she could quite tell that Macarena was feeling the same too for her. There was something between the two when they looked at eachother while being closer then ever, naked flash against naked flash, that was telling how much they really meant for eachother and how much they needed eachother. "Ew..." Zulema came back to reality. "Don't tell me you love her. Please. This is getting pathetic." Putting herself in a sitting position she looked on the direction of the voice. Her voice. She saw herself with that horrible yellow prison uniform leaning against the bath door with crossed arms. "You know this is not going anywhere. You are dieing and then... she would never love someone like you." Prison Zulema pointed a finger to her other self while playing a smirk on her face. "Remember, you ruined her life." She continued while the other swung her legs out of the bed and stood up doing all her best to ignore the voice in her head. She put a pair of underwear and a large black t-shirt that covered half her thigh before walking past her prison self and towards the drawer where she had hidden her pills. "What? You don't want to hear the truth?" Her allucination laughed, following her. "Stop it..." The real woman whispered with a defeated voice, putting both hands on the table in front of her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She really didn't wanna have her around right now. She actually never wanted her around and she started to wonder if all the people who lived with her in the prison felt like this too. It's just in your head... It's just in your head... She repeated mentally to herself and opening her eyes she then proceeded to take the pills that would help her against the hallucinations she had. The pills mostly just helped for a few hours but it was still better then nothing... Even more when the hallucination she was seeing was her prison self. She hated her. She hated herself. When Macarena woke up she wasn't even disappointed anymore when the other side of the bed was empty. It was always like this and she got used to it. Zulema was just a morning person it seemed, even if sometimes she wondered if the oldest actually got some rest. They went to bed after 1 a.m. and looking now at the time on her phone, it was only 7:34 a.m. Flashbacks of the night with her partner in crime came back to her mind: the way they kissed, touched eachother and the way they stared into eachother's eyes... She knew that wasn't only sex between them... Not anymore. But neither of the bot would say a thing about it the next morning. They would just act as nothing has ever happened, it just was like that. If neither of the two was saying aloud what had happened, in never really happened. Maybe it was better like this. Their relationship was toxic after all. But still, Macarena graved for more, always. She wished sometimes to just go up to Zulema and kiss her. Not for taking her in bed, but just because she wanted to give her love. Love... Macarena smacked her forehead slightly with her hand before standing up. Don't be ridiculous now. She thought to herself, stretching a moment before dressing herself up. Walking towards the little kitchen, a little smile formed on the lips of the blonde when she saw the cup of coffee placed on the table. She took it between her fingers and exited the van, being greeted by the fresh spring air that was tickling her bare arms and by the sun who was still not too strong but that brought her a nice warmth anyway. Huh? She looked around, expecting Zulema to be sitting on one of the chair while smoking but she was not there. Macarena stepped a bit further out, looking at the roof of their home, but there she wasn't either. She looked again to the left and to the right, calling softly the oldest's name before her eyes caught a figure floating on the water of the little lake not far from where she was. "Morning." Macarena greeted softly, sitting on the side of the lake and sipping a bit of the cold coffee. Zulema remained silent, floating about the water surface while looking at the sky above her. Still only wearing the black t-shirt, her arms were stretched out and her legs slightly parted. "You know what my name means?" The oldest then blurred out, after a few minutes, knowing that the blonde was still there, looking at her. "No." Macarena answered. Sometimes Zulema came out with random topics like this but she actually didn't mind them. She actually enjoyed when the oldest was talking to her, and not only for a heist or for fighting, but just because she felt like doing it. "Zulema means peace... Tranquility." Her finger where caressing the surface of the water while her eyes focused on the clouds that moved slowly above her head. "Funny right?" She then added. Macarena lifted a second her brows, letting a little laugh escape her lips. "You! Peace!" She underlined again. "There couldn't be name that swits you less." "I know right?" Zulema let out a soft laugh too. "But right now I actually feel in peace." She then added, shifting her position and swimming slowly towards the blonde who at those words couldn't hide a smile. "Me too." Macarena said and her gaze followed the other getting out of the lake, squeezing the water out of her hair and from her black shirt who was glued to her skin showing all her curves. The blonde gulped down her saliva, trying to stop the thought in her head. Zulema sat then next to her, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. Again they just enjoyed the company of eachother. No words where needed to fill the space, it felt nice like this. "I was thinking" the corvine haired then said after circa ten minutes of complete silence, turning to look at Macarena with a few wet strands of hair falling in front of her face. "We should get a new car. We are using this one for too long already." And as she said, she did. Macarena was just taking a strawberry from the fridge when a continuous sound of a clacson could be heard. "Hey, Rubia!" She heard the husky voice of Zulema from outside, followed from other three sounds of the clacson. The blonde opened the door, stepping outside while chewing on the fruit she took a second before. It was already 5 p.m. and the sun was high in the sky. "Red?" Was the first thing Macarena said, raising a brow and crossing her arms while looking at the new car. She actually liked It; it was a convertible car and the raven haired woman already had opened the roof of it. But it was really strange to her that Zulema brought such a vehicle, with such a bright colour. The oldest told her at the beginning of their collaboration that they would only buy cars that wouldn't stand out and only with black or white color. They used the car to escape after all and a car with bright colorful would have been easier to be recognized. "I like red." Zulema simply said with a shrug, sliding her sunglasses, that where resting on her head, back to cover her dark eyes. "Come, jump in!" She then patted the seat next to her and the youngest did as she was told. "We will surely get unnoticed with this one." Macarena said sarcastically while getting in the new car and closening the door. She didn't get any response from the other who simply ignored her. Zulema was again acting strange, like when she came back with a trampoline. "Where are we going?" Maca then asked while the other was starting to drive. "Actually... I don't know. Let's just see where the car brings us." Zulema smirked, turning to look a second towards the light green eyes of the youngest. Thirty minutes later they where driving down a desert street. They didn't see a single car or house for the past ten minutes and the fields around them where all yellow and dry. Zulema pressed on the accelerator, almost reaching the 100km/h with a smile on her face; the right hand was holding on the steering wheel while the left arm was stretching outside, making the wind blow between her fingers. Macarena turned the volume of the music higher: it was a new summer hit that none of the both knew but it fit well with the moment. The blonde stood up when Zulema slowed slightly down the speed, holding on the windscreen of the car. The oldest looked at her, letting out a laugh and Macarena did the same. Is this what freedom feels like? The blonde thought still smiling. They had the world in front of them. No rules, no destination. Just them and the horizont in front of them. Zulema filled her lungs with air before letting out a shout that looked more like a howl. She felt free, really free. And for her fortune no headache nor hallucinations where ruining this moment. She turned to the youngest when she heard her shouting too and both let then out a laugh feeling the same way. For a moment all the problems simply disappeared and they felt just so... happy. "We should do this more often." Macarena suggested when they finally parked next to their caravan. The sun was slowly coming down and the sky's colour shifted from light blue to orange and pink. "Why not." Zulema answered, turning to face the other who was already looking at her. Light green eyes where looking deeply into dark chocolate ones. How much time did pass? A second? Ten minutes? The both didn't know and didn't care in that moment. They just knew they didn't want this moment to finish. Macarena shifted her eyes to Zulema's lips and a thought filled her mind. It actually filled often her mind and she knew it was wrong. But why does it feel so right now? The posture of the oldest stiffened when she noticed Macarena's head slowly approaching her but still she didn't move. Her breath just became slowly heavier but she couldn't bring herself to move away. This should not happen. She repeated in her mind. This is wrong. So wrong. But when a pair of soft lips found hers, all her certainties crumbled down. She closed her eyes, putting a hand on Macarena's cheek and deepening the kiss. ____ A.N. first time writing a ff, let me know what you think. pt.2 coming soon :)