August 19, 1989
3.00 AM
It's dark.
I can hear the rain tapping on the window with its rhytmic dance, an illusory reflection of the storm I have inside.
I can't sleep tonight.
Right now, laying in my bed, I can still feel her growling into the inner parts of me, trying to find a way out.
3.40 AM
It's dark.
I'm in the dark, literally.
I groped my way to the backyard, I'm outside now.
Rain makes me feel comfortable, I like to think that it's gonna wash away all the pain.
At the same time, I'm well aware that some things are just never gonna leave me.
I'm exhausted, exhausted of living, of lying.
Exhausted of fighting for my life, fighting with the demon inside of me.
She's driving me crazy.
3.55 AM
It's dark.
I'm in the dark.
I am the dark cause the dark lives inside of me.
I'm scared, I don't wanna die.
I'm trying and trying and trying to fight but she's just too strong.
I'm overwhelmed.
The bruises hurt, they're becoming more and more infectious by the day.
She's taking my mind too, thinking of her makes me insane, but I'm disarmed.
My own body is betraying me, my own mind is rejecting my orders, ignoring my entreats.
I'm outnumbered.
4.15 AM 
I fell asleep on the grass.
Sleeping is no good to me, sleeping means weakness.
It's the moment when i get vulnerable, when I drawn in my thoughts.
Every morning I'm afraid of my awakening, afraid of what I might find myself doing.
I only have fear, my demon has knives.
One, two, three, four... I'm counting the raindrops.
How much time do I have left?
5.00 AM
I'm back in my room.
Ironical, huh? Nobody except myself can hurt me.
She's gaining strenght, recollecting energies, I can feel her power growing and spreading inside of me.
I can feel my mind getting blurred, slowly surrendering to an inevitable fate.
I'm tired.
                                                                                                   July 2, 2010
It was hard, to face my past again.
I thought those feelings were buried in my mind, but just one sparkle was enough to ignite the fire of my memories.
I was seventeen, and I remember that I had nothing better to do but writing in those nights.
A few months later, I broke down.
It was hard to accept it, that I was sick.
I had to let my walls down and recognize that I wasn't strong and sober enough to make it on my own.
Not only I had to accept help, but most humiliating of all, I had to ask for help.
The recovery was slow and painful, cause I had to open myself, face my fears, and let my demon out.
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
At first I coluldn't believe it.
"Me? Sick? No, no way." 
I had a monster inside, it was her fault, not mine. I was sane.
"I don't need help, right?" This is what I thought.
But then, I agreed to recover.
They took care of me like a considerate mom, and managed to "repair" me, with a lot of work.
They explained to me every single point of my desease, and I saw my demon falling into pieces in front of me and slowly fading away.
I was healing, and like an external viewer, I watched the movie of my own rebirth.
I saw my body blossom, from a bunch of skin and bones into a true woman's body.
I came to life, again.
My family was very supportive troughout this whole chapter of my life.
After I got out of the hospital, we moved, out of the city and towards a new beginning.
I built myself, brick after brick and rose from the ground, taller and stronger, above all my fears and insicurities.
I dedicated myself to study and with hard work I graduated and then went to college, where I had marvellous friends, and one day, out of the blue, I happened to meet the most amazing man I've ever known: my husband.
I know it will sound like cliché, but we really did completed each other. He made me feel worth of living, of existing on this planet.
My life with him couldn't have been happier, because with him I didn't feel like I was sick.
Not one single second he stopped believing in me, supporting me, telling me that I was way more than "good enough".
We were meant to be but a twist of fate took him away from me, just a few months ago.
I know, "It's the cycle of life, that's how it works" but, why him?
But most of all, why him and not me? 
He didn't deserve that. To die.
I didn't deserve that. To lose him.
He was the one who kept me sane,who's gonna do that now?
I knew I was going crazy again  when I met an old friend of mine.
It was the first time I actually saw her, cause I had always felt her inside of me but never really got the chance to look her in the eyes.
My demon was in the middle of the room, stately standing next to the drawer where I kept my medicines.
" Why are you taking them?"  she said.
What was she doing there? Why could I see her? 
Damn,weren't those meds working? I needed more.
"So good to see you again.." she kept going.
One pill, two pills..I could still see her clearly,I needed more.
"You haven't changed a lot..you're weak."
Twenty,Forty pills..Everything got blurred,but I could still hear her.
"You'l never get rid of me."
Five packets. She's gone.
                                 Dear love,
                                             I thought I was never gonna win this battle,
                                                   but yet I did this,all on my own.
                                               Finally, I'm free.
                                            I'm no longer tied by my own threads.
                                             I'm coming to you, I won.