Mi siedo sulla sabbia e guardo l'orizzonte.

"Mama never taught me how to love
Daddy never taught me how to feel
Mama never taught me how to touch
Daddy never showed me how to heal
Mama never set a good example
Daddy never held mama's hand
Mama found everything hard to handle
Daddy never stood up like a man

I’ve walked aroundbroken, emotionally frozen
Getting it on, getting it wrong

How do you love someone without getting hurt?
How do you love someone without crawling in the dirt?
So far in my life clouds have blocked the sun
How do you love
How do you love someone?
How do you love
How do you love someone?

I was always the chosen child The biggest scandal I becam
They told me I’d never survive
But survival's my middle name

I’ve walked around hopin', just barely copin'
Getting it on, getting it wrong

How do you love someone without getting hurt?
How do you love someone without crawling in the dirt?
So far in my life clouds have blocked the sun
How do you love
How do you love someone?
How do you love
How do you love someone?

It’s hard to talk
To say whats deep inside
It’s hard to tell the truth
When you've always lied"

Come si può amare senza soffrire? Non si può. Siamo tutti destinati a soffrire per amore...
Sospiro.
-How do you love someone without getting hurt?
How do you love someone without crawling in the dirt?
So far in my life clouds have blocked the sun
How do you love, how do you love someone?- dice una voce dietro di me.
Mi giro. Davanti a me c'è Rodrigo. Mi alzo in piedi e continuiamo insieme.
-How do you love someone and make it last?
How do you love someone without tripping on the past?
So far in my life clouds have blocked the sun
How do you love, how do you love someone?
How do you love, how do you love someone?
Someone
Finiamo di cantare e ci guardiamo negli occhi, le mie dita intrecciate alle sue.
Lo abbraccio.
-Scusami...- sussurro.
Lui sorride.
-Che ci fai qui?- chiedo.
-Potrei farti la stessa domanda.- risponde.
Sorrido anch'io.
-Mi mancavi...Questo è l'unico posto in cui mi sento me stessa...
-Anche per me è la stessa cosa. Per questo, anche questa volta che sono venuto a LA per lavoro, sono venuto qui e non credevo certo di trovarti in questo posto.
Abbasso lo sguardo.
Poi ci sediamo e mi faccio raccontare di come va il suo lavoro. Lui mi dice che sta facendo molti provini per film e molti servizi fotografici.
-Come va con Zac? Vi vedo sempre insieme sui giornali...
Sorrido imbarazzata.
-Non va molto bene. Mi sento solo una sagoma di cartone che accompagna Zac alle premiazioni eccetera...Non mi sento più me stessa!

"Up above the surface, I was just a perfect child
But underneath it all, I was craving to be wild
Don't you judge by the cover, it's so far from what you see
I'm losing all my patience waiting on you to believe

I'm suffocating, I can't breathe

Let me out this cage, I'm not gonna hold back
I'm gonna break these chains, I'm taking control now
Gonna give you something to talk about
It's another side of me, I'm acting out

Set me free, I'm ready to show you
This is what I need, it's time to get dirty
I'm showin' you what I'm talking about
It's another side of me, I'm acting out

Welcome to a new beginning, it's time to start the show
No, I don't think it matters if it's real or just a role
Once you get a taste of it, you'll begging me for more
I'll give you something to remember once I hit the floor

I'm letting go of what you know

Let me out this cage, I'm not gonna hold back
I'm gonna break these chains, I'm taking control now
Gonna give you something to talk about
It's another side of me, I'm acting out

Set me free, I'm ready to show you
This is what I need, it's time to get dirty
I'm showin' you what I'm talking about
It's another side of me, I'm acting out

I've been waitin' just to drive you crazy
Now it's my time and it feels amazing
There's nothing left of what you've seen before
Life's too short just to do what you're told

Just to do what you're told
Just to do what you're told
Do what you're told
Just to do what you're told
Do what, do what you're told

Let me out this cage, I'm not gonna hold back
I'm gonna break these chains, I'm taking control now
Gonna give you something to talk about
It's another side of me, I'm acting out

Set me free, I'm ready to show you
This is what I need, it's time to get dirty
I'm showin' you what I'm talking about
It's another side of me, I'm acting out

Life's too short just to do what you're told
I'm acting out
Life's too short just to do what you're told
I'm acting out

Life's too short just to do what you're told
I'm acting out
Yeah, yeah
I'm acting out"

Uscirò da questo travestimento.
-Tu sei fidanzato?- chiedo.
Spero che qualcuna sia riuscita a renderlo felice.
Scuote la testa.
Un improvviso senso di colpa mi attanaglia. Ma anche un senso di sollievo.
-Non ho trovato nessuno alla tua altezza.- ride.
Ma io so che lo pensa davvero.
Chiudo gli occhi e lascio che il vento mi accarezzi il viso.
-Io e te...qui...il mare, il vento...non ti ricorda qualcosa?- dico, tenendo gli occhi chiusi. -Mi sembra un dejavù.
Non risponde.
-Rod?- chiedo.
Sento il suo respiro sulla mia pelle.
-Rod?- ripeto, aprendo gli occhi.
Lui è a pochissimi centimetri dal mio viso.
Mi fissa.

"I'm a mess when it comes to you
I've got no inhibitions whatsoever
It's true
I'm not the kind of girl who runs around like this
Caught up in a kiss
Best friends with benefits
No

But you're so racy
You're my favourite guy
So unruly
So uncivilized
Cupid got me right between my eyes
You know you got bit real bad
Doin' things that you never did

Ooh, Ooh
You wake up in your bra and your makeup
Ooh, Ooh
Car in the driveway parked sideways
Yeah, I know this is killin' me
I'm leavin' every peice of my conscience behind
Ooh, Ooh
I'm such a hot mess
I'm such a hot mess
I'm such a hot mess
With you

With you
I never knew lovin' you could be so fun
It's true
I was such a good good girl
Before you came along

But you're so racy
You're my favourite guy
So unruly
So uncivilized
Cupid got me right between my eyes
You know you got bit real bad
Doin' things that you never did

Ooh, Ooh
You wake up in your bra and your makeup
Ooh, Ooh
Car in the driveway parked sideways
Yeah, I know this is killin' me
I'm leavin' every peice of my conscience behind
Ooh, Ooh
I'm such a hot mess
I'm such a hot mess
I'm such a hot mess
With you

I'm getting speeding tickets
I'm acting just like a misfit I'm lettin' my mail piled up to the ceiling You're makin' me irresponsible
'Cause I just wanna be with you
Act rambunctious and see what I do
Go hard
Hit the gas
Live your life like it's all you had
Push push harder
Make it last
All this love is worth the mess
Hot mess
Ooh, Ooh
You wake up in your bra and your makeup
Ooh, Ooh
Car in the driveway parked sideways
Yeah, I know this is killin' me
I'm leavin' every peice of my conscience behind
Ooh, Ooh
I'm such a hot mess
I'm such a hot mess
I'm such a hot mess
With you"

Continuiamo a guardarci senza dire niente ad una distanza incredibile ridotta.
-Io non ho mai smesso di amarti.- confessa.
-Neanch'io. Ho cercato di ignorare questo sentimento ma non ci sono riuscita
Mi bacia dolcemente.

"No!
Oh so treacherous and dangerous and devious. You keep me on the edge
Oh you are my guilty pleasure
So intoxicating when you know it isn't right
I'll keep it under cover
See the pressures on cause I'm so into you

Typical boys, that's what I like
And I really have to say that
Typical me and my appetite
For destruction can't you see that
Any other girl but me
They would be running from a guy like you
But now your gonna find there is no fight
What I really mean to say is

Oh you are my guilty pleasure
So intoxicating when you know it isn't right
I'll keep it under cover
See the pressures on cause I'm so into you

Evidently your unaware
Of the chemistry your throwing out
Indirectly you have no care
And I really have no doubt that
That any other girl but me
They would be running from a guy like you
Oh your something that I can't do without
And I really have to say this

Oh you are my guilty pleasure
So intoxicating when you know it isn't right
I'll keep it under cover
See the pressures on cause I'm so into you

Oh so treacherous and dangerous and devious. You keep me on the edge

Oh you are my guilty pleasure
So intoxicating when you know it isn't right
I'll keep it under cover
See the pressures on cause I'm so into you
Oh never do without

Right now
Your gonna find there is no fight
What I really mean to say is

Oh you are my guilty pleasure
So intoxicating when you know it isn't right
I'll keep it under cover
See the pressures on cause I'm so into you

Oh so treacherous and dangerous and devious. You keep me on the edge
Oh!"

-Ti amo, Ashley.- mi dice.
-Anch'io ti amo. Con te...riesco ad essere me stessa...non ho bisogno di Zac...Io sono questa...io non fingerò più.
-Non dovrai fingere perchè io ti amo per come sei.
Continuiamo a baciarci.
Questo è il mio posto.
Questo è il mio piacere proibito.

°*°THE END°*°

*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*ç*
ANGOLO DELL'AUTRICE
E anche questa fic è finita. Spero vi sia piaciuta.
Ringrazio la mia amica Fra che mi ha dato l'ispirazione e mi ha consigliato.
Recensite!
PS Le canzoni sono "How do you love someone", "Acting out", "Hot mess" e "Guilty Pleasure".
Ashleyily95